✈️ What No One Tells You About Moving Abroad After 40 | Lori’s Expat Story
An Interview with Lori, a Bold Expat Woman Who Chose Herself—and a New Life.
"I thought moving abroad would fix everything. I didn’t expect the grief that came with the freedom."
— Lori, expat in Portugal
💼 The Leap: Leaving It All Behind
When Lori left the U.S. in early 2023, it wasn’t to chase palm trees or picture-perfect sunsets.
It was something deeper. She was ready to shed old skin and start again. She had the Feeling that life had become a loop of sameness she no longer fit into.
“I wasn’t running away. I was just done waiting. Waiting for the weekend, waiting for my boss to value me, waiting to feel like my life actually belonged to me. I chose me. I chose now.”
Lori packed up her life, some might say her entire identity, and moved to Portugal, a country she visited once. The dream was a simpler, freer life.
🌊 The Emotional Whiplash No One Warns You About
The first few weeks were a blur of beauty and novelty: pastries, beaches, morning light spilling over red-tiled roofs, and that delicious, rebellious joy of waking up in a brand-new story.
But then...
The honeymoon wore off. Quickly.
“Around week six, the sadness hit. Like a wave. I missed things I thought I wanted to leave. Grocery store familiarity. Food. Laughing with old friends. My language. My rhythm. It felt like I’d broken something I couldn’t tape back together.”
What Lori experienced is known among expats as the “post-move dip”—a period of grief, loneliness, and identity loss that many are not prepared for.
💭 Regret, Homesickness & the Haunting “What If?”
Lori admits there were days she Googled return flights home. Other days, she wondered if she had made the biggest mistake of her life.
“I felt like I was mourning an old version of me. The ‘me’ who had a target down the street and people who knew how I liked my coffee. I questioned everything. Was I selfish, ungrateful, or delusional?”
This is where most highlight-reel travel blogs fail you. They forget that freedom can be lonely, that starting over means burning bridges with comfort, and that grief and joy can hold hands.
🤝 The People Who Make It Home
If Lori could give just one piece of advice to anyone starting over abroad, it would be this:
Be friendly
“Surround yourself with people. Talk to your neighbors. Learn their names—and the names of their families. Don’t hide. Don’t wait. The warmth you’re craving is already around you, but you have to reach for it.”
Life overseas, she says, isn’t like the individualistic rhythm she knew back in the U.S. In places like Portugal, people are not in a rush to disappear behind front doors. They make time. They care.
One day, that caring changed everything.
“I was home alone, a little low on funds, and honestly—feeling sorry for myself. Wondering what I was doing here. Then I heard a knock at the door.”
It was her elder neighbor, a lovely Portuguese woman Lori had spent many afternoons chatting about life, faith, and memories from another time.
“She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘I had a dream last night. And in my dream, God asked me to help you. So I brought you this.’”
In her hands, she held money. Not much, but just enough to ease Lori’s moment of need. No fanfare. No lecture. Just a quiet act of divine kindness.
““She hugged me, smiled like a grandmother, and went back to her apartment. And I wept.”
At that moment, Lori knew something had shifted.
She had a friend and a home. Above all, she had arrived—wholly, freely—at the place her soul had always been steering toward.
"I didn’t choose where I was born," Lori says. "But I choose where I live, where I love, and where I’ll leave my final footprints. I made my choice. And I’m happy now. Deeply happy."
🔥 And Then... Conviction Rises
Lori didn’t buy a return ticket. She stayed and leaned into discomfort. She joined a walking group, hosted tea parties with neighbors, enrolled in a language class, wept, and danced. Bit by bit, her soul caught up to her choice.
“It’s not that I don’t miss things, I do. I didn’t abandon my life; I expanded it. I outgrew what that old life could hold. And that grief? It proved I was doing something real.”
💡 What Lori Wants Every Aspiring Expat to Know
You will grieve. Let it happen.
“Grief isn’t failure. It’s a transition. It will take time to adjust.”Your old relationships will change, and that’s okay.
“Some people won’t understand your choice. It will inspire others.”You’ll feel lost before you can feel found.
“Being lost in a beautiful place can still be holy. Enjoy and be aware of it.”Start rituals early. They anchor you.
“Have Coffee at the same spot. A walk. A journal. Anything that says, ‘This is my life now.”There will be moments when all clicks.
“One morning, you’ll wake up and realize that you've found home. Not perfect or easy. But yours.”Push past the language barrier—the connection is worth it.
“Even if you only know five words in the local language, use them. Smile. Wave. Ask people’s names. Talk to the person at the bus stop, the fruit stand, the bakery, neighbors. Become a listener. You will see how many of life’s answers come from the mouths of strangers.”
“Be genuinely kind. Offer help without keeping score. The kindness you plant will return to you, in ways you could never predict.”
💬 Final Thought
Moving abroad isn’t always glamorous. It’s gutsy, and full of doubts and delights that dance like shadows and sun.
Lori’s story reminds us: it’s okay to miss the old while falling in love with the new.
The emotional toll? It’s real. But so is the transformation.
The signs are here
“So if you’re out there wondering whether to leap, or if you’ve already jumped and now find yourself in freefall, let this be your sign:”
Have you ever thought about starting over in a new country? What would you leave behind, and what are you expecting to find? 🌍
