Lost in Midlife? How to Find Yourself Again & Reclaim Your Joy
The Jello Phase
If your joy feels like it’s melting into a puddle of "what now?" I call that the Jello phase, and you're not alone.
You might be busy living, managing, achieving—maybe even just surviving—without stopping to ask:
“Is this still me?”
Sometimes, The Signs are Subtle:
A vague restlessness.
A short fuse.
A craving for constant distraction.
Relationships are quietly unraveling.
Decisions that feel disjointed or misaligned.
A moment in the mirror when your reflection looks unfamiliar.
Anxiety and poor sleep.
We don’t always know when we’re lost.
We’re too busy being strong—holding everything together, surviving the day.
On the outside? Everything looks fine. Maybe even great.
Yet inside, something is slipping, a quiet disconnection from who we truly are and what we need.
Maybe others notice, but they stay silent.
And we can’t find ourselves again until we realize we’ve wandered off course.
If something feels off, if your world is cracking open or crumbling, this is not your breakdown.
It is your invitation to pause, listen, and begin the quiet, powerful work of finding your way back.
What To Do?
1. Pause Before You Push
When we feel unsettled, we often scramble to fix things. But healing isn’t a hustle. Clarity doesn’t come from chaos.
Begin with small, grounding actions:
Declutter your home—start with one drawer.
Sign up for a class you’ve always been curious about.
Take a silent walk in the park. No phone. No podcast. Let the world—and your mind—settle.
🌿 Ask yourself each morning: “What would feel good for me today?”
You might feel surprised at how simple and profound the answers are.
2. Trace the Spark Back to Its Source
Who were you before the labels, the roles, the expectations?
Let’s go back in time:
What lit you up as a child?
What made you lose track of hours?
What did you do purely for the joy of it?
These aren’t just old memories.
They’re breadcrumbs leading you home.
3. Drop the Timeline (And the Guilt That Comes With It)
You’re not behind.
You didn’t waste your chance.
Midlife isn’t your deadline, it’s your doorway.
Release the version of you that “should’ve” arrived by now. Let go of the victim narrative you’ve unconsciously carried. That story is over. A new one is waiting.
You are becoming deeper, braver, and more aligned than ever before.
4. Surround Yourself with Real People
True healing gets lighter when we don’t do it alone.
Yes, talk to your friends. But also:
Reach out to people on a similar journey. New people.
Connect with those who can say, “Me too,” or challenge you.
Be open to fresh voices, even if they ruffle your comfort zone.
Consume content that mirrors your desired reality, books, podcasts, and mentors.
True transformation happens when you are around people who see your potential and expect you to rise.
5. Create Something — Anything
Finding yourself isn’t just about looking back—it’s about creating what comes next
Write.
Paint.
Build.
Dance.
Cook.
Sing.
Move your body. Try something new. Let it feel awkward. That’s the edge of awakening.
Learn a new language. After 40? Yeah, I know. I’ve been there. Language is not just about the words.
Creation stirs the soul. It wakes up the parts of you that have been dormant too long.
Start small—a journal entry, a messy sketch, a voice note.
Creation leads to clarity. Action leads to identity.
The Subconscious Holds the Key
Let me explain something that changed my life.
Our subconscious mind is a powerful force, quietly running the show with beliefs, habits, and fears we didn’t choose… but still live by.
The book The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton explains how our subconscious is programmed before age 7. In those early years, our brain is like a sponge, absorbing language, emotional patterns, and behavior.
Yet, we don’t stop recording after childhood. Every trauma, repetitive experience, and belief we hear enough times gets stored in the subconscious as a program.
Let me tell you a story.
🌧 The Day the Road Spun
Years ago, I was driving on a rain-slick highway with worn tires. I hit the brakes, and my car spun completely out of control. It was terrifying.
From that day on, each time I drove in the rain, my body reacted like it was happening again. My heart raced, my palms sweated, and I saw myself spinning, even though I wasn’t. Yet, the world around me felt like it was spinning.
Why?
My subconscious had a program that said, ‘Wet road means chaos.’ The instant I saw a single drop of rain hitting the highway, I felt skating in circles across the asphalt, even when everything was still."
That wasn’t just fear. It was a program, and I knew I had to fix it.
I did the work, changing the signal and replacing fear with calm. I reprogrammed the old program.
Eventually, the panic stopped, and the road stopped spinning.
Reading The Biology of Belief helped me connect the dots and understand that our reality is the reflection of all the programs and beliefs stored in our subconscious mind.
Rewire. Reclaim. Rebirth.
"Your subconscious is simply doing its job, carrying out instructions to survive. That’s why your current reality isn’t random; it’s a reflection of the beliefs and patterns stored deep within your subconscious mind."
Yet, these instructions or programs can be updated.
You can rewire your mind. You can change your reality.
✨ Affirmations: Small Repetitions, Big Results
Affirmations speak the language of the subconscious. They rewrite what you once believed was the truth.
At first, they might feel silly. Yet, repetition and intention can do the job. Remember when learning to drive? The beginning was shaky, but with time, it became smooth and instinctive. Why? Because of repetition. You practice and practice until the subconscious mind gets it.
Visualize the new version of yourself. Speak as if it already exists. Practice and practice until your subconscious mind gets the updated version of your reality.
Want to keep these affirmations close and let them work their quiet magic on your mind and heart?
Leave your email below and I’ll send you a beautifully designed, printable version of these powerful phrases ready for your mirror, journal, or nightstand. It’s totally free, and it might just become your favorite 5-minute ritual.
🌿 Final Thought
Let go of the weight you’ve carried.
Stop spinning.
This is your time to reprogram the story, find the real you, and rewrite the rest of your life on your terms.
Want more tools for rewriting your next chapter? Let me introduce you to your digital sidekick...
The next chapter is forming.
Not outside of you, but within.
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